A GUIDE TO CREATING
AUTHENTIC WEDDING VOWS
There’s a moment during the wedding ceremony when everything else seems to fade -- the music, the crowd, even the flowers. It’s the moment when two people look each other in the eyes and speak their vows aloud, raw and unscripted from the deepest place inside them.
This moment? It matters more than any centerpiece ever could.
While traditional vows carry history and beauty, there is something undeniably powerful about writing your own. When you speak from your heart, not just reciting promises -- but making them -- you allow your love to take shape in its truest form. With trembling hands and full hearts, you’re telling the world what this person means to you. What your love really looks like.
If you're choosing to write your own vows -- and I sincerely hope you do -- here are some thoughtful, soul-searching prompts and gentle guidance to help you begin.
WHAT DO YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT YOUR PARTNER?
This is the heart of your “why.” Is it their unwavering kindness? The way they laugh with their whole body? Their quiet strength when you fall apart? Think of the traits and quirks that make them uniquely them. What made you fall -- and what keeps you falling? Let those qualities shine through your words like little beams of devotion.
How Has Your Partner Changed Your Life?
Think about where you were before this person walked into your world. What shifted? What opened up? What did they awaken in you? Maybe they helped you feel safe. Maybe they inspired you to grow. Maybe they taught you what it means to be truly seen. Your vows are a love letter to the transformation that love brings. Let them know how they’ve changed your life for the better.
What Are Some of Your FAVOURITE Memories Together?
Memories build the backbone of your relationship. They show how far you’ve come and give your vows emotional depth. Maybe it was the first road trip you took, or the night you cried laughing in the kitchen, or that quiet morning when you realized, this is it -- this is my person. Weave these moments into your vows to bring your love story to life.
WHAT ARE YOUR DREAMS FOR YOUR FUTURE TOGETHER?
This is where your vows move from who we are to who we’re becoming. Speak about your shared vision -- the adventures you want to take, the kind of family or life you hope to build, or simply how you plan to grow old side by side. Dream aloud. Let your partner see the future through your eyes.
WHAT MAKES YOUR RELATIONSHIP UNIQUE?
No one else loves like you do. Reflect on what makes your love different. Maybe it’s the way you communicate without words, or the way your personalities balance each other. Share what makes your bond irreplaceable and why you’d choose it every time.
What Does Marriage Mean to You?
Marriage is not just a ceremony -- it’s a choice, a commitment, and a thousand little promises made every day. Share what it means to you to walk through life together. Do you see marriage as a partnership, a friendship, a sanctuary? Express what it means to build a home in someone’s heart and how you intend to protect and nurture that space.
How Will You Support Your Partner Through Life?
Marriage is not just the easy parts. It’s showing up -- even when it’s hard. What are the ways you promise to support your partner? Maybe it’s holding space for their emotions, or being their fiercest cheerleader. Maybe it’s making them laugh when life feels heavy. Speak to the strength of your commitment, and your readiness to weather life’s seasons together.
What Are Your Specific Promises?
This is the heartbeat of your vows -- the promises. Get specific. Promise to listen with empathy. To choose love over ego. To always kiss goodnight, even when you’re upset. Acknowledge that life won’t always be easy, but vow to keep choosing each other, again and again. Your words don’t need to be grand -- they need to be real.
Have You Already Overcome Challenges Together?
Real love is forged in fire. If you’ve walked through struggles together -- illness, loss, distance, growth -- touch on it. Speak to how those trials shaped you, how they made your love softer, stronger, more intentional. Show that your commitment isn’t just built on the good days, it’s been tested and held.
A Note on Tone: Keep It Personal, Playful, and Honest
It’s tempting to try to sound poetic or formal but the most powerful vows are the most authentic. Speak like you’re having a conversation with your person. Be tender, be real, and let your emotions lead. A light-hearted joke or sweet quirk is welcome, as long as it doesn’t exclude your guests or embarrass your partner. Steer clear of inside jokes, but feel free to gently tease them in a way their loved ones would smile at and understand. And most of all --avoid unrealistic promises. Your vows aren’t about perfection. They’re about showing up with love, grace, and presence. That’s more than enough.
Your vows are the most sacred part of your day. They are your heart, spoken aloud.
There is no perfect way to write them -- only your way. If you speak with love, honesty, and reverence for the life you’re about to share, then you’ve already done it beautifully. Take a deep breath. Take your time. And write something that will echo in your hearts for the rest of your days.
